Many parents send their angry kids to their room or leave them alone to calm down. What else we are supposed to do? Let them calm down, it’s not a good time to teach lessons.
When we send an angry child to his room he will calm down after a while and also get some clear messages:
• Anger is not good at all.
• No one is caring about your anger.
• Your anger scares us and you need to manage yourself in such situations.
Being adults, we have anger-management issues that effects our work and loved ones.
This is one of the most challenging yet important tasks of childhood – learning to bear the things that are annoying and not getting angry. We call them emotionally intelligent who are able to manage their anger. These people can manage themselves and can achieve their goals.
So, here’s what to do when your child gets angry:
Take a deep breathe and remind yourself that this is not an emergency. By doing this your child will feel safer and express more.
Try to think about the situation according to his point of view. There’s no need to agree or disagree his points. Just acknowledge that he is right for the moment. He will feel heard at that time.
Parents are usually hurt when kids yell at them. Your child doesn’t hate you, he could be hurt or scared by some action of yours. Or may be ignorance is the reason for such behaviour. No matter how bad feelings he’s having, let him express and tell him that you are listening. Yelling could be a best tool for kid to express his anger.
Children don’t yet have the frontal cortex neural pathways to control themselves as we do. Being adults, we don’t always have full control over our anger. After we support kids through a bad mood, they feel closer to us and more trusting. They are not as rigid and demanding as they were before.
MKids store their emotions and wait for an opportunity to express themselves. Let them cry if you can’t fulfil the demand at that time. But assure them that you will get it done by some other time. But don’t mention that he’s over-reacting to the situation.
Express yourself in a form of story, not a lecture. No one likes a lecture, tell them that you understood the reason behind the behaviour and it’s obvious. Just make them feel heard.
Nothing goes bad till you make them feel secured and heard about their thoughts and demands, there’s no need to fulfil every demand of your kid. Just educate them well about such situations.